oh my oh my oh my heart.

i don't know where to start. and i don't know how to feel. but i am tired. tired of dealing with everyone's crap. and of people who aren't themselves. people who think they're hot shots and say things and talk alot of game. mainly just people in general. i'm really, very unsure of how i should feel these days. my emotions are just a roller coaster. there are some things i want so so bad. my arms aren't long enough for those things yet, but i've got time. youve got alot of time.. when time is laid out in front of you. my words seem to be disappearing. i absolutely hate talking out loud, and try to only do so when i have too. i can't hear my heart because my music is too loud, & its whispering. i find it really fascinating that music can turn my mood like that. *snaps* music effects me, infects me. actually. "how poetic". oops. look around you. do you see the beauty? i see it. its in everything and its captivating and its in you. you shine brighter than the sun. (you might feel i'm rambling. but i'm not) i miss the sun so much. i miss driving around with the windows down and i miss wearing shorts that are too short and i miss not wearing shoes i'd give anything at all to feel the earth on my feet i want to go pick moss off of trees and i want to make sun-tea and i want to stay up late and swing until my legs fall off i want to wear tank tops and i want to drive everywhere with my best friend i want to dance and i want to climb trees and read good books and colour. and my heart is looking forward to a number of things that can't be wrote down i want to hangout with my parents & their best friends i want to go to the zoo i want to do so many other things. my mind is coming up short for the moment.