your words spread hope like fire.

i am at a loss for words. i think it is because i realize that you have said the same words over and over and over. they are like loose change you find on the ground. you throw it out, give it away, cash it in. but, they never really leave you. you never really mean them.

my mind is a sponge. or more like a wet rag. it absorbs things, but only the things it wants to absorb. but mostly it just spreads the mess around. confused by what the counter top looks like after the clean up.

yesterday i was driving down the back roads with Ashhey, singing some country song when i realized that i didn't want any of this to change. i want to be right there next to my best friend, listening to music singing at the top of our lungs, on our way to go swing. forever. i don't want to go to school, and i don't want to go to college and drift away from her. i want here.

i guess to make sense of myself i will attempt to do this thirty days whatever. here are the ones i'll be doing. 1. my best friend. 2. my crush. 5. my dreams. 6. a stranger. 7. my ex. 9. someone i wish i could meet. 14. someone i've drifted from. 15. the person i miss the most. 16. someone that isn't in my state. 18. the person i wish i could be. 19. someone on my mind. 20. who broke my heart the worst. 24. who gave me my favourite memory. 26. my last pinky promise. 28. someone who changed my life. 29. someone i want to tell everything too. 30. my reflection in the mirror.

a few of those are still ify. but i guess i could start with one right now.

1. Emily keeps my feet on the ground. the first and last person i talk to everyday.

she is going to be with me forever, and i know that for a fact. we have traveled the unknown road of our lives this far together, and that will continue. i am not sure what all i should say about her because nothing will do her justice. not only can i say she is my best friend, but i can feel it too.