z boys.

today was hard for me. and like, i don't even know what it was about today that i just got put into a disgusting mood. i have a foul mouth when i'm not happy. then i'm shocked i've said such things on God's green earth. music is about the only way to get me to open my mouth anymore. well, without pain anyway. my lips are cracked beyond repair, i would completely understand if noone wanted to look at me ever again. i can't get thoughts straight. youre messing with my fucking head. i am struggling to keep myself in line. when i feel myself start doubting. i just remind myself. of you. of things you say. of things in the past. i win. love wins. you worry me. and i pray for you every night. turns out. big surprise, i don't want to open up to anyone. i'm very much glad that tomorrow is the last day of school before the break. i'll have the house to myself on wednes. i'm not sure what will come out of being left alone. i would very much like to get out of my own head. mystery solved, everything, it all points to you.

i'm crazy.