i'm no good, i'm not myself.

i can feel the winter. its already here, in my thoughts and in my eyes. i'm getting closer and closer to falling apart. and without you, its not making it any easier. i don't know if its just the fact that i can't go a day without talking to you. -yes i am referring to yr phone. ten things happen all at once, things that i would only tell you because youre the only person that would pay the slightest bit of interest in them. like how a temps song came on in first hour. or how i won two games in a row in spanish. or that i've actually had money to but pizza like, twice this week. but i've come up with a resolution for this, i can't wait to tell you about it. so much is being put on me right now. i can hardly listen to my ipod without crying. because i'm always reminded of something. one thing or another. i wonder if people think i'm too young. young to say the things i do, too young to feel the things i feel. i hope no one thinks that, because its certainly not the case. not at all. i'm real. i feel. i miss you. i miss you alot. i should stop. but i can't think of anything else. i can't even hide it anymore. i need to stop. i'm cracking and cracking and i'm about to shatter. and i can't do that. not right now. because i honestly have nobody to put me back together. at least not right now. i can't wait till i can have you back. its so nice outside, i want to go swing! i love third eye blind. i love love. i love grass. raise hell don't stop till the cops come. i love you.

its annoying how everytime i need someone to talk too, everyone fucking bails out on me.