live and learn, weeeee hate youuuu.

wowwww, its been awhile;

alot of things different, so many feelings are getting deeper, so many friendships going in
different ways. this little town is going to corrupt us all, i'll say. i am hearing tons of empy words. i mean what i say, and i say what i mean. september is basically, half way over. i keep finding my heart to be beating insanely fast. its still yours. i'm starting to realise i'm alot stronger than i thought i was. i just about got this down pat. heres how it goes: i wake up to a text, always something classy. i get up, i literally roll out of bed and go to school. where, i tend to sort of sheepishly tred through the halls, i've got no desire to be there, it isn't my place. by now my brain is completly dead, where i suffer through spanish, geometry, and biology. mind you i'm texting all through the day. then i go to lunch where i get to be 'one of the guys' -lucky me. i miss my friends. i can't wait until next year. i really can't. then i come to soccer. story of my life. and by the end of the day, you're still all i can think about. i don't know, you make me weak at the knees, and don't think i don't know that if i told you that you'd say some perverted joke about me and your junk. because i know, i know you. and even though we're miles apart, distance within this distance, i'm yours and youre mine. i've decided. youre it ;if you know what i mean. as far as love goes, we're all falling quite hard. 'noone can be in love at sixteen' excuse me but i beg to differ. this is getting out of hand. i don't even know where to begin, or end. i have no freetime. i have no say. i have no control. i'm losing myself, and i hate to love it and i love to hate it. i can't help but think 'is this it?' 'kelsey this is nothing, you've got so much more time' you tell me. people are pushing me. i'm getting options thrown at me. i don't like what i see. i want you. 'what does your heart tell you' i don't have my heart 'what does the abyss that was your heart say' the abyss just wants to hav fun. so i think i'm going to start doing things for myself. so this is it. this. is life.