it doesn't matter what yu do, i win.

i can't wait for this month to be over. people have got alot of nerve these days and my respect for them as gone way down. i bring home so much work to do and i can't find it in me to do it any better than half-ass. however recently i have gone back to thinking critically in the ways of a writer (one that needs mental help). one much like edgar allan poe, except not so dark and tormented. well, maybe. whatever. i'm tired of having to reasure myself. and i'm tired of bothering other people with that. this inconsistancy is bothering me. why are you always my main focus? i can't help but wonder. i'm sure that i am not yours, correct me if i'm wrong. so i re-read Twilight, i forgot how good those books were. i like getting lost in something that isn't reality, or the woods. the more i observe, the more i take heed too. or maybe i don't pick up on anything at all, who knows. i have a million things to say but i can't find my annoying words. my heart has been fluttering on and off. i know i should start following it more. i know that its in the right spot. don't worry, i'm just a stupid young girl that believes in love. but boy, do i believe. well at least we made it this far. but we've got a long way to go.



i need a new journal (i shutter to think of what some people would think of this):
i'm drowning. its not the rain this time. i can't breathe. don't leave me, i'm not here to stay. dont forget, i'm here waiting. you wouldn't dare. haunt my dreams. taunt me with your charm. remind me again, youre the one worth waiting for.
more for the journal:
a new season, new monster. theyre all drones. tempting and disillusion. group therapy. i think i like this. open your eyes, shut your mouth. get back here. oh, i need you now.