my friends all asked just why you went away.

i'm a small town girl. i don't really know much about the world or how it works. i think i know, but i think i'm totally wrong. all i know is that i'm here, and i'll always be here. i haven't figured out how to give up yet. i've decided i need to mellow out and quit worrying so much. everything is going to work out how it is suppose to be. that's right, nothing is going to happen that isn't meant to be. meant to be, what does that even mean. i have to remind myself to breathe too often. i think instead of eating my feelings, i starve them to death. because i sure as hell don't talk about them. i've recently started to watch sappy movies about love. opposed to ones about zombies and people dying and stuff. i think its because i find some kind of hope, in a way, in those stupid love movies. i miss my best friend. i miss laughing, really real actual laughter. i miss making fun of everything. i miss listening to our ipods, and dancing around in the middle of your driveway. i miss swinging. i miss getting in fights with you. i miss talking about how different we are. i miss sleeping on your floor in my sleepingbag. i miss waking up and hearing you tell me how ugly i am. i miss eating bagle bites and fishsticks. i miss going out to the freezer even when we know there isn't anything to eat out there, there never is. i'm right here, i'm always here.