cry a river, drown the whole world

i hate the feeling of doubt ; not knowing where your breath is taking you has a very freeing sense. much like how i feel when i don't wear a seatbelt in the car. i've seemed to of lost my freeness lately or misplaced it rather, what have you. and i would like it back as soon as possible. i'm tired. i'm tired of holding back my feelings and biting my tongue. and its not that i don't care what people are going to think once i've let all that go. i don't know what it is. i'm just petrified of letting people in, thats the only explination i can come up with. there are things i would rather not talk about is all. i'm sick too. i'm sick of second guessing. second guessing, myself, love, humanity, the grass, my feelings, his feelings. i know what i want, and i know what i need. i'm lost in life, and honestly i don't plan on looking for myself anytime soon. i find it much more adventurous to be lost in the woods than to be found and sitting at home on the couch. that was a crappy metaphor. i'm in love and it is a very nice feeling. i guess i've drug this out enough, i'm done for the time being.